Bonus: Ego Trip Interview with B.I.G. from January of 1997

1) Clipse – Grindin
2) Mike Jones, Paul Wall and Slim Thug – Still Tippin
3) DJ Shadow featuring Turf Talk and Keek Da Sneek – 3 Freaks

In hindsight, these are the three greatest songs of all time. My reaction of disbelief at just how awful “O Let’s Do It” is led me to believe that it would be number four, but alas, it isn’t the case. I was really pulling for the song too – I even spent $1.29 on it on everyone’s favorite online music retailer.

The beat is a banger, simple but enjoyably off-kilter and incredibly catchy after repeated listens. The problem is Waka. Obviously he’s awful, that’s not the point. He’s completely humorless and devoid of personality. I admire the fact that he can kill me and/or deal me drugs, but unfortunately that doesn’t make for great music.

Ice Cube rapped with purpose and conviction. 50 was a caricature of himself, and turned himself from a hard-nosed gangster to a lovable barking puppy. Gucci’s told me numerous times that he’ll cut my fingers off, but he’s still a goofball who loves white girls and the color yellow. Pill is ruthless and kind of terrifying, probably because of his self-awareness.

Waka is also cold-blooded, but unfortunately two-dimensional. I know that you’re fucking crazy, but then what?

Still, there’s something sublime about riding around northwest Yonkers in the dog days of March, staring down senior citizens with this on. 5/10, because I’m feeling nice today. No motherfuckers, I’m making you cop this one on Itunes (or hunting down one of the 36 mixtapes it’s on).

The beat sounds incredibly sloppy. Boi-1-da tried to pull of a marching band vibe and threw on some epic strings on the chorus for effect. I don’t know…for the “long awaited” debut single, it sounds incredibly rushed and sloppy. Has Drake pulled the wool over our eyes for this long? That said, you know there will be a legion of 16-year olds making their facebook statuses “Who the fuck are y’all”, and that’s who you’re trying to sell to, right?

Nice Dead Prez reference though, dunn. 4/10.

Rapidshare.

Nah, I ain’t flamin out until sometime near mid-April. My notepad has names like Biggie, Drake, Waka Flocka, Swizz Beatz and Joell Ortiz. Let’s get it on!

Boi-1da’s beat is kind of epic, but not terribly epic, and I have the feeling that this is the type of beat that’s going to sound incredibly dated in five years from now (he also produced “Forever” and actually most of Drake’s stuff, looking at it). There are times when I think Drake is really good and other times when I think he’s just alright. I think he should probably take a break from the public spotlight for his own good, but at the same time if it works – why not? He’s already becoming overexposed before his first album is even out, but in terms of his historical precedence, his album only has to be slightly better than Ma$e’s Harlem World.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing that these three feel they can release back-to-back singles that are the exact same, but it probably isn’t a good thing that everyone is perfectly OK with that sentiment. This is actually better than the O.G. Money to Blow anyway, so 6/10. No Rapidshare because I don’t own the song, but if you want it…um…comment me?

Another rant: everybody hates on David Guetta, but he has monster potential in commercial hip-hop if he keeps it up.  He’s doing what everyone thought Timbaland would do, and his beats aren’t nearly as intricate as Timbo’s were.  But a banger is a banger, and this mashup comes with the beat of Toyfriend from One Love, Guetta’s latest album.  From A-Trak’s Dirty South Dance Vol. 2, I think this will be shaping the future of commercial hip-hop singles to come.  1 point off for Birdman’s performance.

Rapidshare.

9/10.

I’m no A&R, but was it that hard to make this album? Couldn’t they have just put an EP out over the summer and put out an album in the fall? They sold 20,000 fucking records…was it that imperative to try to cross-over with “The One”? I actually like that song, but did they really think some 13-year old white girl was gonna fall for Joell Ortiz’s beer belly?

Couldn’t they just get Monch to do a verse on Salute? Could they only afford the chorus?

I don’t understand how Budden has any followers whatsoever after this album. For a “lyrical gauntlet” like Slaughterhouse, I’m pretty sure Budden had not one passable verse on this whole shit. I enjoyed Mood Muzik 2 and even Padded Room, but Budden sounds corny, contrived and desperate when he’s trying to sound hard. Be Nate Robinson and back up the point? Yeah, bro? Joe Budden’s punchlines are either overly obvious or are reaching too hard to make sense…he’s got the key to my city? How the fuck did I think I got locked in it? Um…WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? Also, way to never switch up your flow – you didn’t sound sloppy at all trying to go double time on “Sound Off.”

Meanwhile, Crooked I is the star of the album by far. Crook is quickly rising on my list of rappers who can continually talk about how he’s going to kill me while keeping it interesting. Unlike the rest of the crew, Crook has a sense of humor and even his stupid punchlines (if you’re Meagan Good, I’m Forest Would-dick-her) are amusing, compared to Royce who is equally talented but falls victim to his own tough talk. Crook also manages to come off with more conviction on the serious songs than the rest of the crew, even Emo Budden himself.

Look, I’m not arguing that Slaughterhouse is incredibly talented. All four can rap their ass off. Maybe we should have seen the red flags sooner, namely that none of them have ever released a successful album before (Is Death Is Certain really the best that’s come from any of them?). But they should have went one way or the other, either going mixtape style and crushing old beats or god forbid, take their time and come up with a fully-fleshed out album with song concepts, etc…. Instead, they rushed to capitalize off their name and the legions of internet hip-hop nerds who swore they were the re-birth of hip-hop.

Honestly, this Slaughterhouse album shows me just how little rappers know about what their doing. I think (or hope) in the next decade that Executive Producers will have an even bigger role in hip-hop. Royce is incredibly talented, but Street Hop was incredibly underwhelming because of Royce’s gun talk and sloppy hooks, and that was with DJ Premier executive producing.  The reason Kanye has been as successful as he’s been is because he’s an artist in every sense of the word and is focused on the product that he’s putting out over his lyrics – Graduation is arguably a classic despite the simplistic lyrics.  808s had every reason to be a flop, but has instead inspired a new generation of rappers and concept albums (So Far Gone, Man on the Moon).

Compare that to Lil Wayne’s Rebirth, which was a complete failure in every sense of the word.  Rappers just don’t know what they’re doing besides spitting bars, and while I enjoyed the Canibus-Spit 1000 Bars and it’s the dopest shit of all time approach, it’s time to get some true artists to create a vision for rappers, who apparently know nothing better than just lyrics.  Because while Slaughterhouse is OK, I suppose, it’s 2010, not 1994 and we need more than what you’re bringing to the table, guys.

Why Joell Ortiz Is Overrated:  I was originally going to make this a quick blurb ala what I wrote about Method Man, but I’m gonna dig into some of the lyrics of the Slaughterhouse album to explain exactly why I don’t like Joell Ortiz.

Wu-Tang Forever: For whatever reason, I had the inclination to listen to Wu-Tang Forever, an album I always admired but one I never listened to that much.  I want to give my review of the album and create Wu-Tang Forever 2, a sequel of sorts featuring group cuts from the past 13 years  that were on point.

Non Hip-Hop Album of the Week: Pantha du Prince this week, fuckers – minimal techno is runnin this rap shit.

More Singles:  Can’t wait for some big singles to start coming out in the spring.

And more surprises!

But upon further listening, you realize it’s the worst single of the year.

1/10

Rapidshare.

There is no other rapper in hip-hop that lives and dies by his flow as much as Method Man. Method Man has never had a single interesting lyric, but there’s no way you can’t tell me he absolutely kills some songs. He outshined everyone in “House of Flying Daggers” and “New Wu.”

Yet, look at a song like “City Lights”, where he sounds out of place and awkward. He’s always talking about the same thing (smoking, fucking, smoking dust and fucking), but he just comes off as better on some beats than others.

Speaking of smoking dust, is Meth the only rapper that brags about smoking PCP? Does the Wu get down like that? Did anybody read that RZA manual?